Fifty Shades of Grey – A Christian Woman’s Perspective

WARNING: The contents of this post are mature in nature. Please be advised! Also the following blog expresses MY own personal Christian beliefs.

Wow! What can I say… The reviews for “Fifty Shades of Grey”, the erotica, mature book by E. L. James are highly controversial, as it becomes a best seller in Australia, Britain, and the United States. There is a lot of increasing buzz concerning the explicit sexual content of this book, as many women around me are avidly reading it. I heard it being referred to as “mommy porn”.

Friends consistently ask me if I have read it, so I went to the book store and looked through it. Also, after reading the sample trial on my kindle, I have decided that “Fifty Shades of Grey” is definitely not for me as a Christian woman, wife and mother. The male character is sado-masochistic, has a penchant for sexual violence, bondage, and hitting for erotic pleasure. Debaucherous actions take place in hidden dungeons, as they both subjugate each other to sexual lechery. Aside from being a love story this book is infectious in nature for my mind and soul.

The beginning of the first book starts off captivating, even inspiring further interest in the plot. Personally, I have an impressionable mind, and passion of any kind easily takes root, but as my trial sample ended on my kindle, I felt unsettled in spirit and polluted in emotion. It reminded me of when I read the other famous book “Twilight”, which left me depressed, discontent with my reality, and longing for young love…I realized that the realm of fantasy can be dangerous for me, and I have to be careful what I fill my mind with.

This is what MY OWN Christian opinion is on the following issues and presupposed questions regarding the book “Fifty Shades of Grey”:

This book is just fiction, and it spiced up our marriage and our sex life”.

Yes it is fiction, but the content is pornographic in nature and depicts explicit, excessive, twisted, graphic sexual material. It incites the temptation to fantasize about a different man other than your husband, or for another woman other than your wife. I realize this book is predominantly read by women, and from my perspective, sexual mental images about someone else are impure, illicit, and considered unfaithful. Ephesians 5:3 ordains us to “Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity among you”, and verse 4 says ” Obscene stories….these are not for you”.

God wants us to stay pure and fix our thoughts on what is “true, honorable and right” Philippians 4:8. Reading crude, lascivious books is not pure for our hearts and minds. If you have marital problems and the contents of this book  have brought you closer, what I think is that extracting your intimacy from sexual vulgarity is never healing in a marriage, or that it offers a true solution from ongoing conflict.

As married couples, we can stem that intimacy from Song of Songs, a lyric poem inspired by God. This book in the Bible is filled with sensuous, amorous, exciting, exotic, enticing beautiful details. Chapter 4 for instance goes into great details, exploring the attraction and longing between a man and a woman. Here a few excerpts from Song of Songs: “You have ravished my heart, my treasure, my bride. I am overcome by the glance of your eyes, by a single bead of your necklace … your lips sweet and honey, and honey and cream are under your tongue” Chapter 4: 9,10. The woman is described as having lips like ribbons of scarlet, and a delicious navel. She dreams in chapter five about her lover, husband to be, knocking on her bedroom door saying “Open to me my darling, my lovely doe, for I have been out in the night. My head is soaked with dew, and my hair with wetness of the night”. He further thinks of her rounded thighs, and she of his muscular arms and strong manly legs. Let these verses arouse a crimson color in you and your spouse’s cheeks…

God’s source is a much better place for what should be beautiful intimacy. Proverbs 5:19 commands us to be ” intoxicated”, or ” captivated” in our love for each other, and 1 Corinthians 7 to let our bodies fill us with delight, and to satisfy one another: ” So do not deprive each other of sexual relations”, and ” The wife give full authority over her body to her husband and the husband give full authority over his body to his wife”. Sex is a blessing to a married couple, but can be detrimental if indulged in abusive ways, as described in “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

” I am a young unmarried woman, so I don’t see the harm in reading ” Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Personally, I would not let my own daughter, or son, read any kind of erotica novels, especially this one. 2 Timothy 22 says “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right”. This book depicts a young, single, and graduating from university girl, who is seduced by a rich, attractive, well-spoken, powerful man. That is prime soil for a young heart looking to fall in love…However; he is a troubled man, with dark, impure desires, trapping her in obsessive lust, exploiting her physically and emotionally. A young woman indulging in such a novel will only become seduced by unchaste activities, by a distorted view on how love is supposed to look like, and further be allured by debaucheries narrative, imagining herself part of a realm filled with vulgar, crude sexual escapades. I am aware that there is supposed to be a “deeper” love story woven through this book, and the next two sequels, but no woman should find herself attracted to a man who is sadistic, controlling, and domineering. 1 Corinthians 6:12 warns us: ” You may say, “but I am allowed to do anything”, but I reply not everything is good for you….you must not become a slave to anything”. My advice is to go read Jane Austen books like “Pride and Prejudice”.

In the end, this is just a book. A book written by a writer fueled by her own imagination and fantasies. Anyone can write any book they want, but we, as Christians, I believe, must be selective in what would be honoring and pleasing to God. Ask yourself if this book is bringing you closer to God, and how would you feel if Jesus showed up at your house wanting to look at your bedside book selection. I find that whatever I read ends up preoccupying my thoughts and feelings, so reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” would become addictive and lead to seeking similar books, videos, etc. Immorality originates in the mind, so Galatians 5:16, 17 acknowledge our temptations: “The Spirit gives us desires that are opposite from what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict”. As Christians, is hard to navigate through the tempting lures of this world, but we must arm ourselves with God’s holy words: “Do what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in worthless deeds of evil and darkness. Instead rebuke them and expose them”.

By Roxana Phillip-Hackett

Roxana is a wife of one, mother of two, who loves to share her faith with sincerity and honesty from her home in Hendersonville Tennessee.  

25 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Grey – A Christian Woman’s Perspective

    • Tough subject to bravely tackle. Sin’s greatest power is in it’s secrecy. The apostle Paul wrote, ” I wouldn’t have know it was a sin to covet, unless the law was there to tell me so”. Likewise I’m sure a lot of men and women would not like to see reading this novel as sin. Someone has to stand up with courage and say it like it is. Good for you Roxana!!

    • This article captures “truths” of our society; our morals, marriage, inner struggles, God’s desires for His people and quotations from the greatest book ever written. I enjoyed the writer’s style very much. I agreed so much I thought I wrote it. Also any controversy simply proves how right the author is. Read it twice at least to get all the details and truths within. AHuff

  1. I have heard much discussion about “50 Shades of Grey”. Most comments have been about the unrealistic submissiveness of the girlfriend or the sadist Grey. But I feel like Roxana Phillip-Hackett has addressed the real question of whether we should even expose ourselves to a novel like this at all. We make decisions for our children all of the time about what they can watch and read that is appropriate. We also must guard ourselves from falling into novels and other media that leads us astray. We are bombarded with ugliness and distraction everyday from TV, magazines, and our facebook pages. Three cheers for Roxana and her thoughtful expose on why we shouldn’t be exposed.

  2. Thanks for giving a sound Christian perspective on a popular, controversial novel. I love the biblical references and redirection to Song of Solomon. I share your opinions on this one!

  3. Thankyou for posting. I have had no interest in this since its release, never bothered looking much into what it was about either. While i feel a book is just fantasy i can also relate to being lost a few times over the years to a good book, not having trouble discerning from fiction but influencing my thoughts. It is precisely why i don’t read the popular novel of “Lolita”. Each to their own but anything invoking negative reactions or thoughts in someone should be avoided. There’s actually a LOT of fiction worse than this out there, this is vanilla in comparison to some of the stuff I’ve come across. I guess some people are easily impressed or persuaded.

  4. Thank-you! I have been heartbroken, reading of other ladies reading this book – escaping their marital problems. From their comments alone I have gathered it has a very illicit nature, and like visual pornography generally being more enticing to men, this book seems to have captured the hearts (!?) of many women who would be devastated if they were to find out their husbands were finding ‘fulfillment’ elsewhere. It is truely sad, and as Ezra mourned for those he led when they walked away from God’s commands & the sins committed – we should too. Thanks again for a very well written article. Definitely sharing this.

  5. Awesome article Roxana! Thank you so much for your boldness and for your heart. I honestly thought I was the last woman standing to have read this book … it’s been offered by many friends who bought them, but I just could not bring myself to accept. I am a single woman and as exciting as the author has made Grey out to be … I surely pray and hope that I do not meet one like him. I am blessed, once again, by your writings. :)

  6. Thank you for sharing what I and so many other women would like to say, but don’t have the courage or ability to say it without sounding judgemental. I applaud your ability to speak the truth and share your own vulnerabilities. Great article! I hope you will keep them coming.

  7. “There is nothing new under the sun” Ecclesiastes 1:9. How true! It seems there was another ungodly book entitled “The Sex Machine” written in the late ’60s or early ’70s based on this same concept that influenced my generation. I wouldn’t think of bringing trash into the Holy Temple of Jerusalem, neither would I trash my Holy Temple either.(As for me and my house, I’d rather serve the Lord and be grateful for his tender mercies.) Sex was designed by God to be beautiful not perverse.

  8. I dared say that I had no interest in this book on my Facebook page and was howled down by people – I dare to write that it was “mommy-porn” and should not be called “literature” like some people were calling it. Who knew most of the women around me were reading it! I was called opinionated, a snob, a prude … good on you for saying what I’ve been forced not to say …

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